If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
