You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
