Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
