Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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