Small penises have feelings too.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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