I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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