hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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