I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
