A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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