My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Found your dick twin last night
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Randomize
