Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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