..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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