am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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