Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Watching her eat just hurts me
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
