I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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