I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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