You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't deserve a penis
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
