she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
