so explain again why im purple
no
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
