Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
And then my night got REAL pukey
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
