We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
