Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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