I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
