from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
