My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i've created a new STD.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
