I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
