I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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