hell yes lets make some ravioli
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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