I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
