Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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