I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
