you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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