the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
