one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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