Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
babies were throwing up all over the place
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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