If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
OPIZZABONMYDICK
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Randomize
