So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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