hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
