idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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