I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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