When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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