If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
