So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
