She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
