Duck Duck Cougar?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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