I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
