i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
