I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
