I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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