your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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