I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize