After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
