i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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