yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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