Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And then he peed in my hair
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