She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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