I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
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