My liver just broke up with me...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
