You're my little dorito
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize