so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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