giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
