We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
