your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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