Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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