And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
