Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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