Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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