Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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