My first STD was from a foam party
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
