I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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