Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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