Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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