what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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